Sex Music, Revisited

Last Wednesday, I asked what is your favorite music to get it on to and a few of you answered. I have yet to respond to the question, because music really doesn’t do anything for me. However, upon stumbling through my playlist, I found this track by Custom. I’m sure a lot of your remember the song that was released like seven years ago, or something - six? - Hey Mister:

Hey mister I really like your daughter
I’d like to eat her like ice cream,
Maybe dip her in chocolate

Hey mister on your way to work,
In your Volvo, suit and tie
We’ll be crawling in your bed soon,
Messing around, maybe getting high.

Its not what you did, its not what you didn’t
God gave her the perfect body now I’m all up in it

Its not she’s a tramp, its not she’s not pure
she just likes getting her fuck on and its a good one of that I’m sure

Hey mister I really like your daughter
when I’m horny like thirsty she’s a bottle of water
hey mister, how’d it get so bad
you raised her so well now she’s calling me daddy
in the back seat naked of her new Volkswagen
the perfect little gift for high school graduation
Its not what you did, its not what you didn’t
God gave her the perfect body now I’m all up in it

Its not she’s a tramp, its not she’s not pure
she just likes getting her fuck on and its a good one of that I’m sure

Na na na na na…
na na na na na…
na na na na na
hahahahahaha

(Rap Part)
I eat all the food in your fridge
Call my friends around the world
Rack up your long distance too
Do breakstands neutral drops
Wreck all your cars
Drink all the booze in your cheezy ass wet bar
Order stuff on your credit cards
Leave boogers in the skippy jar
Smoke your cigars
Answer the phone tell your boss you moved to mars
When you call home late from work tell your wife
You’re at the titty bars

It’s not what ya did, It’s not what ya didn’t
God gave her the perfect body now I’m all up in it
It’s not she’s a tramp, its not she’s not pure
she just likes getting her fuck on and its a good one of that I’m sure

I can’t lie I have to tell the truth
Man to man mister it’s a total spoof
Your daughter’s a freak
Your daughter’s a pro
When I’m done with her
She’ll do one of your bros

I hope I’ll never have a daughter
I hope I’ll never have a daughter
I hope I’ll never have a daughter
I hope I’ll never have a daughter

Nana na nana na,
Nana na nana na,
Nana na nana na,
Nana na nana naaaaaaaa!

The song automatically reminded me of two people in my life, people I have never been sexual with. I won’t mention their names or how I know them, but I will say that one of them went psycho afterward. The other one wounded up coming on too strong and masturbated on the phone while I was talking to her, not saying anything remotely sexual. I suppose both of them went crazy.

I’m not sure what happen to either of them because I haven’t spoken to one since 2002 and the other one since late 2006 while I was trying to make amends with all those I have wrong in my life. The question remains if I was to ever have the chance, would I have had sex with them? (that sentence sounds wrong aloud.)

No. I’m sure I wouldn’t have.