On Masturbation

Masturbation is still getting a bad rep from Christians. It’s rather annoying how something that is naturally instinct to us creatures can be perverted by those Bible-belted. The Save the World Christian Blog states the following:

Masturbation is the act of arousing yourself sexually until you achieve sexual orgasm, and in men, it culminates in spilling the semen. Masturbation can either be by self, or involved another person of same sex most often.

But the big question remains: Is masturbation an immoral act? What does the Bible say about it? The answer I gave the woman above was that the Bible does not clearly mention or condemn ‘masturbation’ is mentioned and condemned, but this does not justify it. I told her that that fact that she is separated from her husband is not any excuse for her to indulge in masturbation. What the Bible preaches is self control, therefore it is either she is reconciled to her husband or she exercises self control over her sexual urges. (source)

Now I can understand that Christians are stuck in their time and being an anachronism in our time, they tend to vomit their beliefs on a simple act of sexual gratification. We are one of the few, if not the only, creatures on Mother Earth who have the power to have sex whenever we please. There isn’t a fixed time limit for us.

Michel De Montaigne wrote:

To get back to the subject: we have been allotted inconstancy, hesitation, doubt, pain, superstition, worries about what will happen (even after we are dead), ambition, greed, jealousy, envy, unruly, insane and untameable appetities, war, lies, disloyalty, backbiting and curiosity. We take pride in our fair, discursive reason and our capacity to judge and to know, but we have bought them at a price which is strangely excessive if it includes those passions without number which prey upon us. [B] Unless, that is, we choose, like Socrates, to pride ourselves on the one noteworthy prerogative we do have over the beasts: Nature lays down limits and seasons to their lusts, but gives us full rein - anytime, any place. (source)

I know, not a direct quote, but a quote from the Socrates, a person we look up to as great intelligence. But if Nature gave us this wonderful ability to take hold of our sexual practices, while hindering those of wild animals, why is it that religion wants to bastardize it and make it pagan?

We are considered by all people, be it Christians, Atheists, Buddhists, etc. to be beings of reason. With the exception of the Atheists, I find it hard to understand how anyone can call us reasonable when so many of us still believe in a mythological being and his son, or that there is some mystical energy that controls the world and our actions. What’s so reasonable about that? And I’m not here to attack religion and solely religion, but when someone says that something as natural as masturbation is sick and perverse because their book told them so, I have to lift a questioning brow.

“More so, masturbation is an act of uncleanness, which will defile our bodies the temple of God,” writes the same blogger who has damned the act. This is why, if I were to be religious, I’d choose Buddhism. A while back, for a 90 Day Jane blog, I quoted A Buddhist Bible, edited by Dwight Goddard. The quote was then attacked by a user named Russ, who quoted something from the New Testament. (This just goes to show that Christians don’t like to be wrong, ever!)

The quote goes: “every one must bear the burden of his own sins, that every man must be the fabricator of his own salvation, that not even a God can do for man what self-help in the form of self-conquest and self-emancipation can accomplish.”

I like to know I have control over my life and my actions and that I don’t have this all knowing being, who predestined my life, yet gave me the freewill to live my life. I don’t have to feel guilty for sex, or self-sex, or anything do, unless it hurts a human, of course, because everything that I do and want is in my natural, and probably in yours as well.

With this month being Buy Your Friend a Sex Toy Month and next month being Masturbation Month, I think that this topic should be addressed by professionals and not some bumbling blogger (me) or some one who thinks that there is some big mythical man upstairs.

So is there anything wrong with Masturbating? The plain answer is no and it isn’t wrong, despite what the clergy says, unless you are just a compulsive masturbator:

Masturbation was once vilified as a perversion. All sorts of efforts, ranging from extreme guilt to diabolic contraptions, were made to discourage both single and partnered people from doing it. Yet sexologist Alfred Kinsey’s groundbreaking data, first reported in the 1950s, had plenty to say about the subject, including that women who masturbated before becoming sexual in a marriage had a much better likelihood of achieving orgasms during sexual contact with their husbands.

Still, mental health experts were not particularly vocal about the health aspects of masturbation until the 1970s. Even though masturbation’s benefits have been regularly proffered since then, many people today still feel extremely uncomfortable about doing it or discussing it — much less allowing their partner to see them in the act.

What’s a healthy way to view masturbation? It’s appropriate, and a valid option in a relationship, when one’s partner is unavailable due to physical separation, fatigue, recovery from childbirth, or illness. It also helps balance discrepancies in frequency desires. Since there is no formula bestowed during a marriage ceremony that magically aligns two people to have the same level of sexual interest, masturbation is a good thread to weave through a relationship’s tapestry.

Most couples have a “higher frequency partner” and a “lower frequency partner.” This desire discrepancy puzzles many couples. They struggle with having sex when they don’t really want to. Some wrestle with deeply held feelings that they should be everything their partner desires sexually. (source)

Not to mention this:

Masturbation is a natural sexual expression. People in most cultures masturbate. Even many species of animals do. Yet, some people hesitate to do it - even when it might really serve them well during a particular phase of their life.

Despite the fact that many people masturbate throughout their lives, there are still some who believe that masturbation causes insanity, epilepsy, acne, blindness, nosebleeds, warts, uninhibited sexuality, and hair on the palms. And some believe it causes headaches, when it actually can help relieve some types of headaches.

[...]

Masturbation can be a very good way to learn about one’s own body - particularly because it can help with communication of knowledge to a partner. Many women learn to have their first orgasm through masturbation. So, rather than being a substitute for partner sex, it can be a supportive path to having better sex with one’s mate. (source)

But despite the evidence on the table, Save the World Christian Blog, and others just like it, continue to pour out lies because they’re miserable and want the rest of us to join them:

Even if it involves only one person attempting to satisfy a sexual desire, the fact is that masturbation always leads to other forms of sexual perversion. If you are masturbating often, because your spouse is not around, your mind will soon tell you to get lover. At it makes some ’sense’ to get a sexual partner instead masturbating. So it is better never to start something that will lead you to deeper sin.

Sex is biblically meant to be enjoyed between a man and a woman in a legal marriage. Any other form of sexual satisfaction is unbiblical and leads to sin. (source)

However, this is the sort of person that would’ve probably been pro “cut the boy’s penis off) in the 19th century. Why would anyone want to listen to that?

No, people of religion are so disgusted with their wants and needs that none of them want the rest of us to have fun. If we smoke pot, they cry foul, even if it has been apart of the religion since the first book. We have sex, they cry because we’re not reproducing. We vote for prochoice presidents, they say think about the unborn, it’s wrong to kill some one - all the while they have the hand on the lever to kill Mr. John Doe on the seat.

Pop culture has used the topic on many levels - most of which deal with a young boy who is just exploring his body. And while it’s a funny subject when it comes to a dad or an uncle trying his best to explain the whole masturbation thing to a child, one must know that too much of a good thing is in fact a bad thing.

For example, the follow is a question submitted to Esquire and answered by the lovely Stacey Grenrock Woods:

Returning to my first attack, I’m not trying to say all those who believe in a higher power are anti-masturbation, it’s just that the majority ignore science and psychology (ahem, dinosaurs with Adam and Eve and demonic possessions ring a bell?) and the simple plain truth. They go around preaching on a subject they have no evidence on, condemning it to be wicked. The simple fact is, we’re human and we’re going to do human things. We don’t need some over seeing dictator to punish us for having a good time. As long as we don’t hurt individuals in the process, or even ourselves, then it’s not such a bad thing. Remember, you’re the only one who makes you feel guilty, no one else. So release yourself from the dogmatic chains and lay back, relax and rub one out.

B(ee) Porn

The bees are still here. I had to get two plastic bags, three socks and a lot of raid and plugged all their entrances. Luckily for you all, these bees left behind their dirty pics:

Of course, I lie. Bees don’t need porn to get off, they’re on constant vibrate mode. But wouldn’t your honey buzzing her way into bed with this little outfit on? Really? That’s weird, yo.

Of course this little number might get the vibration between the sheets going. (Yeah, I’m lame that way.)

I suppose you’re all not wanting to read what I have to say about the bee situation, or what I think about each picture and I respect that, but this is, however, MY blog and you’re just a visitor. You don’t really have that much of a say. Sadly - yet gladly - none of these pictures are censored because there wasn’t anything too pornographic in nature about them. However, and I hope this works, each of them is linked to the website I snatched the photos from.

Man, those bees are fucked up.

Ava Knight v. Flickr Porn

I wish I hadn’t published the Flickr Porn post. It skyrocketed my hits, which is good, but blew poor Ava Knight at of the water and I think her photos are way better than the amateurs from Flickr.

That and because I spent more time, not writing, but researching the photos for Ava because they were so many of them, I wanted a few that were both dark and innocent - hence the latter picture on that post.

I just hope that the Ava post gets more attention this time around. She was in lead early in the day, but sadly you all want quick masturbatory images quickly rather than looking them up. I didn’t think to take a screen shot of the views, so I’ll just compare yesterday’s today.

The Ava post really did make a lot of progress since Wednesday:

Sex Wednesday Rap Up

It seems you all only read my posts the most on Wednesdays because of their sexual content. I wonder if you’d all be as interested if I made a Sexus Blog and posted nothing but sexual content 24/7. Truth is, I already have a Sexus Blog, I just haven’t bothered to use it. So for those of you who come here solely for the sex Wednesday post, would you want actually visit a Sexus Blog that contained nothing but porn and porn reviews, sex tips, personal sex stories and/or sex stories that I picked up along the way, possible interviews or reviews of online hotties? Because it’s not completely impossible for that blog to exist.

I suppose, because the catergories I’ve set up are misleading, I’ll post a link to something your horn dogs want to see.

NSFW link.

Flickr Porn

I’m a big fan of Flickr because it’s fucking great. You can find a lot of things there and I search on it because I like writing poems around a piece of art. Some people are nice, which others are not so nice about sharing their art. Those who don’t care to share are not artists, but photographers you hire who butcher the art - there I said it. However, if you use someone’s image for personal gain, then I feel that you should either pay the guy or at least give him some credit.

So before I start, let me credit gtown_mechanic for the wonderful photos I snatched online for the first installment of Flickr Porn.

Below are a few photos by Mr. Gtown that star himself and his wife/girlfriend that I censored for your viewing pleasure. However, I will link the account so you can view the uncensored photos.

We start off with something clean, something I don’t need to censor.

Now this picture was the first one I stumbled across. Notice how they try so hard to be nonpornographic.

Now it’s her turn.

“Mommy, what’s going on in the neighbor’s back yard?”

Okay, what’s with the picture of the cat?

Kitty wants to play.

Not pussy he was thinking about.

I will stay now.

Rock ‘n’ Roll. This one’s actually of him while he’s getting head from his s/o. (Head 1 and 3)

Well fine these and more uncensored here.

Rubber Chicken Blues

So I’m in my private world, but I have visitors. My three and almost two-year-old nieces who stumble in and out of the room because Geb forbid me to put a lock on the door. I can’t understand how two girls can make so much noise with a door.That and, you know, I can’t read any of my favorite blogs, not because they contain pornography, but their ads do. Oh well, perhaps I shall venture into reading the many various reason why the chicken crossed the road. Or better yet, figure out why the atheist crossed the road.

They’re gone, so I can resume my daily routine of checking out blogs. But now Better Off Dead is on and that has captured my attention. I’m really have a Hadley type of day; if Pretty in Pink’s on, then I’m really set. Earlier, by the way, I should mention, Sixteen Candles was on.

I should really pick up a book and read something. Or write something. I still have that article I have to rewrite, but been putting it off because of the depression that has sent in. I suppose anything is better than just sitting on my ass and staring at this screen.

Okay, what the hell?

Seriously, “kid sex?” I wonder what sick fuck was looking that up. If you’re aware, or not a Word Press user, there is this thing on the blog stats of your account that tells you how people found you. One of them is a search engine check up. Normally people find me through politics, porn, sex, and a few other things, but Kid Sex? Wanna see my blog stats?Check them out:

I’m not sure why someone would be online just to look up what could be child porn. And why my blog pops up when searching for it. I wish there was a way to get their info so I can report their asses.

I did an essay on child porn my first year of college; I think I was warped afterward of all the things people say to themselves to justify their gross lusts.

I feel upset. I think I shall blind you with a picture of Dr. Laura, the higher than thou, anti-porn guru, will satisfy the urge to change the subject.

Can I jump subjects now? Good, I was hoping you said that.

Now that we’re on the subject of gross things Philosopher in Theory and I were at Walmart today picking up some stuff for her sister. I thought I saw a guy in tight pants - speaking of which, where do you youngins get off on wearing tight pants? Seriously, you’re guys, you have a dick and balls!!! That can’t be healthy for you; I mean, if wearing underwear can’t be healthy for you, then super tight pants that you’d have to time travel to the seventies in order to purchase - that we saw at Barnes and Noble.

Damnit, I got ahead of myself.

Anyway, we were at Walmart, a.k.a. Fascist Nazi Mart, shopping for her sister, who wanted Incense to cover up certain feline scents. We sniffed the few that they had there - the Sacred Scents with some potential Catholic figure painted on the box smells like anal sex, though I wouldn’t know who that would smell. But as we were leaving the aisle, we saw some called Sensual Musk. We tried to smell that, but couldn’t and Philosopher said it probably smelled like sweaty balls, because that’s what Sensual Musk means.

So we continue onward and I see this guy who looks a lot like the tight panted “punk” kid from Barnes and Noble (a.k.a. Heaven) - you emos are seriously fucked up, more than a toothy, sandpaper blow job. I tell Philosopher, who suggested, well I think we were both on the same mindset, we should follow him. But he was gone. Perhaps he wasn’t there at all, I began to think. We trailed around the store looking for him, forgetting the cat food we were heading for originally, however, we were now by the electronics, where a group of workers were standing around with boxes of crap to stock.

In frustration, I began to think that maybe I’d seen something that wasn’t there, and blamed the sweaty balls as loudly as possible. (And I wonder why people assume I’m gay.)

[Edit:]

Seriously, though, what the fuck?!

More on the Sex Writing, fish baking, Wonder Boys, and a list of books

I think what got me into sex writing and the love of erotica, not just my early escapade with pornography, but also  Susie Bright. While I find most of her essays trite and boring, the books she compiles are awesome. The first book I ever read where she was the editor was, of course, one in The Best American Erotica series. It was the 2002 edition and I quickly fell in love with stories by Maggie Estep, Simon Sheppard, Stacey Richter, Gary Rosen, and Tsaurah Litzky.

I think what caught my attention with Maggie Estep’s story was this paragraph:

“Joe wondered why it was that tumors were always compared to fruit. He wondered if the nurse liked to have sex with fruit. Susan did.”

The beginning of the story had already hinted to the more than odd sexual preferences of Susan. But it was that line that, for some odd reason, that caught the attention of my 19-year-old mind.

The fact that “In Deep” was the first gay erotic short story I ever read that left me feeling all giddy inside helped Simon Sheppard. This book was the pathway I needed, like the porn when I was a kid, to a more mature level of sexuality.

Stacey Ritcher’s “When to Use” brought back the memories of sex. It’s short and reads like an instructional guide for the obvious womanly hygienic product.

It even inspired my at-the-time girlfriend to read. In the lines of something like, “If more books were written like this, about sex, I would read more often,” she confessed to me and a few of her male teachers who constantly asked her to read the texts. The girl wasn’t a moron, she was brilliant, though she did some silly things once in a while, but who can blame her? We all do them.

Anyway, I got off subject there. The difference between pornographic writing such as most of the stories found in the collection entitled Aroused and those found in The Best American Writing - though I can’t really say that for all the stories is that BAE stories have a more poetic charm to them and Aroused has more of a fuck me hard and fuck long sorta tone.

I don’t know, sex is sex and some of it’s great and some of it bad. The writings reflect that. I just love sex, what can I say?

Anyway, earlier, all that sex writing started to get me hungry. I started preparing fish earlier to bake, but I was tired of the same ol’ same ol’ fish. So I decided to use an old recipe I had for chicken, changed it around for fish and made that. It was a garlic fish marinate that I prepared. I was supposed to leave it for longer but “hunger gets what hunger wants,” right? I toasted two slices of bread threw them in the food processor with just enough black and cayenne pepper and enough seasoning to give the breading flavor. After that, I added just enough corn flakes to fill up the bowl (I have a small processor) and broke that up and dumped it in the bowl with the bread crumbs. I mixed it all up and then took out the fish and rolled it around, placed on it on the cookie sheet, covered that with foil because I was doing this in a toaster oven and not the actual oven, and baked for 30 mins at 350. I liked it and so did Jyg who got the last slice not too long ago for her lunch.

And now that I made that transition, the more I read Wonder Boys the more I realize that I’m more and more in Grady Tripp’s situation, minus the dead dog, the creative writing student, the being sorta Jewish and the pregnant mistress. Okay, I’m nothing like Grady Tripp, but what I meant is that one day he just woke up and his wife was gone. I guess that’s the reason why Michael Chabon’s stories capture my attention - they’re so three dimensional that you find yourself relating with them through out their adventures.

So I was reading the book today and I came across when Grady returns to his in-laws’ home for the Seder:

“I walked out to the driveway and started down toward Kinship Road, looking up at the mesh of branches overhead for signs of a blighted elm tree against which it would be kosher for me to piss. The air smelled cool and slippery like we bark, and although my wife’s refusal to let me share her nakedness, however reasonable, had hurt me - even though it mad my heart ache to think that I might never get to see my Emily naked again - I was feeling very glad to be out of the house, alone, carrying the happy clenched fist of my bladder inside me.”

It struck a cord with me. I almost wanted to cry, even though it was stupid to, because I feel that I will never hold Jyg or touch her in the way lovers do. With every fiber of my being, I’m attached to her. I don’t know if it’s because it has been five years, but it feels like something else. Of all the people in the world, I though I’d be the last to want to get married, and in many ways, I am. However, with Jyg, that’s all I wanted to do for a very long time. And I blew it by not going with my instinct. I only looked at rings. I only talked about plans. I never took action and I really just want things back.

Damnit.

Anyway, I’ll leave you with a list of books I’ve read and enjoyed by authors I’ve met in person. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

• Flight and Other Stories by Jose Skinner
• The Magic of Blood by Dagoberto Gilb
• I Ask the Impossible by Ana Castillo
• El Paso del Norte by Richard Yanez

I actually got to speak to the first two and that last one. I only briefly met with Ana Castillo at a book signing, speaking to her as quickly as possible. However, I was a little disappointment that she didn’t know how to spell my name. Sadly.

Insomnia

Sleep has discarded me like an old lover, leaving me without a bed to rest my tired body upon. I suppose it’s all for the best. My brain is slowing down and I should be asleep soon, but it’s hitting 8:00am and I’m due to wake up 30 minutes later.

I suffered, suffer, am suffering, from insomnia for quite some time now. Ever since 2001 and I know it’s cliche, but shortly after 9/11. I don’t know what happened, but I think it had a lot to do with the relationship I was in at the time. The emotional drainage she was put my brain in a mess that I haven’t yet recovered from. I know that sounded corny and stupid, but I have no other history of sleeplessness until her.

Anyway, insomnia leads me to the internet surfing, and unlike most men my age, I don’t go looking for porn, or porn related things. Instead, I go looking for the literature aspects of the internet, finding old and public domain books to read. However, this night was different. This night I came across this: Safe For Work Porn. Now forgive me if I’m a little late on this. My pulse is nowhere near the wrist of the blogging world, but SFW Porn is probably the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. If you haven’t seen it, then I urge you to look it up.

I’d like to continue writing this for you, and telling you everything I found that was hilarious, but I think an old lover is calling me to my bed. I doubt she’ll be gentle. The day has just begun.

Sucker

I’m a sucker for exposing a scam. I look them up on the blogs and report them to whoever runs them. I couldn’t help but to open a blog that promised free porn. I wasn’t there for the free porn, but there to see if it was an ActiveX Object. Rather than being a legit player, it only gets to download a virus, normally spyware. Now while there is such a thing as ActiveX, don’t be fooled by the name.

I know, a lot of you aren’t naive enough to believe something like Free Porn, but some of you might be. So here’s a warning: Carmen Kontur Gronquist doesn’t have a sexy video. Don’t even bother clicking on the line, okay?

Oh, and if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. All things come with a price. Etc. Etc.